“Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can’t do. If you have a passion, pursue it. And you don’t have to just have one job or career or purpose in life. You can have many jobs, many passions, no degrees or many.”– Rebekah
When you were younger, what did you think your life would look like? Married, single, roommates, no roommates, dream job, close to family, far from family?
When I was younger, I thought my life would look a lot different than it currently does, and thank God His plan was greater than mine. From a very young age, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. My dream to be married and have kids at a young aged fueled my desire to be in a relationship. I pictured myself married, with kids by twenty-five. I never had a desire to have a career and work away from the home for long hours.
I would marry the perfect man, have perfect babies, and maintain the home. This was my big life plan; even writing all this, I realize how small and limited I was thinking. My lackluster life plan (not that being a mom and a wife and home keeper lacks luster in itself) was limited by who I told myself I could not be. I was not a great student (LIE) so college would not be an option. I had no real skills or talents (LIE) so a trade school or personal business would never work for me. So my whole life plan was limited to what I knew I could do on my own merit — be a mother and love a husband well.
Unfortunately, when you grow up in a rush to find the “ONE” before understanding who you are as a person and who God says you are, you will let every man who walks into your life tell you who you are instead. This was my life from age 16 to 24, living according to who others wanted me to be out of a desperate desire to have one love me enough to stay.
So at 24, I found myself lost because the life I thought I would have was nowhere in sight.
How did your dreams for the future change?
My dreams completely changed in ways I could never have imagined. I followed my passion for massage therapy right into a full-time massage program.
After graduating from massage school, I started a massage therapy position at a resort in Tucson, Arizona called Canyon Ranch. I have the opportunity to cultivate my passions across a wide range of modalities, which has created a deep desire to expand and start my own business. So I started my own private practice and I am working on slowly growing my business.
My dream to become a wife came true on February 3, 2019, when I married my best friend. Josh was not my missing piece or my other half, because when Josh came into my life, for the first time I could say I was a whole person. Now I can dream alongside someone and that’s a fun and wonderful feeling. My dream to be a mother is now our dream; however, I’m no longer in a big rush. Just being married and enjoying this new adventure is enough for now. I am also trying to no longer limit my dreams to my current reality, because I have learned that God can give you big dreams that only He can accomplish in us. This is freeing!
What were the kinds of pivotal moments that led you to where you are today?
I think the most obvious one would be making the choice to start massage school, but that’s only if we are looking at my physical place of work and business.
If we are looking at Rebekah, the woman I am today, well that’s not a big complicated or super specific moment. Really it was many small choices over many years. It was beautiful friends who spoke life and encouragement over me. It was waking up day after day and choosing to trust God more than I doubted Him. It was trusting that I had value and something to offer this world, not giving up before I even started because I was afraid to fail.
It was breaking off unhealthy relationships with men who did not see my worth. It was giving myself enough time to really heal and grow before allowing another man into my life. Choosing to sit and stay, rather than move and run and hide. Putting down roots and letting God grow me into something beautiful.
What are you learning right now?
I am learning how to be patient, in all areas of my life. To not rush from one thing to the next, trying to accomplish everything for everyone.
I am still learning it’s OK to tell people no, that my identity or worth is not measured by what I can do for others. I am learning it’s OK to slow down and literally smell the roses, to take a walk or a nap. I’m learning it’s OK to sit still and do nothing at all. I am learning I don’t need to work crazy long days and fill my schedule to feel useful and appreciated, or prove my worth in my job.
I am learning to truly let God have control of my finances and not stress over if we will have enough. I am learning new things every day and I hope that never changes. Last but not least, I am learning to love my husband well, to give grace and patience, to encourage him in his dreams and aspirations. I am learning to let him help me, rather than trying to do it all myself.
What do you love about your life in this moment?
Oh I love this question, because I love so much about my life! I love my husband and I love being married. I love that my church is full of wonderful families with lots of awesome kiddos. I am honored that I get to work with kids at church. I am forever grateful for the wonderful women in my life; each and everyone one brings fresh perspective and unique personalities. I have been challenged and encouraged by the ladies in my life. I love that I have friends who are authentic — this is no small thing. I love that I am an aunt to many nieces and nephews. I love that my passion for massage has not faded. I am also SO SO thankful for monsoons in Tucson, because this Washington born-and-raised girl misses the rain.
What brings you joy/fills your soul?
BAKING!!!!! I love the challenge of baking yummy treats — finding complicated recipes and watching them come to life. I love to cook and try new flavor combinations, and then have friends over to eat and share in all the crazy.
I love to dance; there is something so magical about music that makes you want to move with every fiber of your being. Not to mention that dancing is so good for your soul, even if it’s just dancing in the kitchen covered in flour.
If a kid walked up to you asking for your advice and you only had a few minutes to give them your best tip, what would it be?
Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you can’t do. If you have a passion, pursue it. And you don’t have to just have one job or career or purpose in life. You can have many jobs, many passions, no degrees or many. Life is unlimited and you don’t have to find your one thing right out of high school at 17.
What do you wish everyone knew about massage therapy, dating, and marriage?
I wish everyone knew massage therapy is not just a luxury or for when your already hurting. Massage has a huge impact on the body; it does not need to be deep or painful to be effective. Gift certificates for massage should never be saved for a rainy day — any day is a wonderful day for a massage.
What do I wish everyone knew about dating: Throw out this expectation that dating is designed for finding your husband. Stop dating only one type. Date to discover who you are; date for the fun of getting to know a stranger. Date to open yourself up to new opportunities; date to learn about your insecurities and fears. It’s OK to only ever have one date and move on. Not every person you go a date with needs to be a relationship.
Regarding marriage,it’s nothing like I expected it would be. The movies lie, but it’s better than a movie could portray. It’s waking up and going to bed every day with a man who has chosen to love me wholly and completely, flaws and all. It’s lazy days and hard work hardly-see-each-other days. It’s messes and dishes and laundry, snuggles and laughter and tears. It’s work, and it’s totally worth every moment.